I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
