u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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