she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
