So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
