we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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