There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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