I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
