I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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