You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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