pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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