i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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