so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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