also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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