For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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