remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I understand Curling. That high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
