I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize