On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
