How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
