Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
