So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm passing your future prison.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
