it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
