Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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