Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
