But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize