Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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