I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
