Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
