my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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