Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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