I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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