I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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