i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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