So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
