I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
