Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize