dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
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dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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