belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
