We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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