curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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