You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
