Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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