I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
