Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize