Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
