Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
