Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
