well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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