the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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