i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
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He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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