I heard we made out
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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