We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
