Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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