Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize