you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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