and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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