If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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